Prayer Pt II

Tears pricked menacingly behind her eyelids and her throat felt raw.. She was struggling to get the words out and speak as clearly as possible over this long distance conference call. It was a really long time since she had seen or spoken to her husband (or should she say ex-husband). It was still difficult to call him that and she could'nt understand why. A lot of water had flown under the bridge but it took a second for painful memories to come rushing in. He was in rehab. Was there since a couple of months she learned. The call was part of his treatment. He was making an attempt at a comeback. Years ago any hopes raised in this direction were clutched like a life-line. But series of hospitals and counselors did not really change anything.. it just made her less hopeful every time they went back. But if it was possible for the sake of the kids that they could have a father who was really himself, not a far away fading shadow of a person, she guessed, it was worth while to do this. Tell me how his drinking changed affected you and your life..crackled the voice of a counselor from Bangalore across the thousands of miles.. How could one explain that to a now sober assailant with group of onlookers and over the phone. He knew most of this anyway. What should she say.. where should she begin.. It was very tough. She mentioned that his personality changed so much that he was no longer the same person she met and fell in love. In many ways it felt as if the man she loved had died slowly and painfully before her eyes and had been replaced by this one.. who bore little semblance to him. Today she lived with her children in Europe. She had a good job and the kids were settled into school, they had friends and were happy there. She too was comfortable and used to life there. It was work and home most of the time. They traveled to places they could not have dreamed of while in India. Life was lonely though. Gone were those family vacations with cousins, aunts and close family to Goa at Christmas time, those weekend outings to parks on picnic and restaurants for lunches. People in India were bound closely together by families.. beyond expectations. Friends drop in and call all the time.. Here people believe in calendars and organizing social lives.. When people are invited they are told what time to arrive and what time to leave as well.. But life's definition has broadened, it encompasses a lot more than just coping from one day to another. There is thought and direction in the 'normal' things families do.. plan financial security, children's education, career goals, travel fun and vacation..etc.Finally, life does go on..